economical decisions

Being surrounded by men has taught me that observation is often more comical than participation.  I acted on this learning last week as my boyfriend and male roommate discussed how to spend their bonuses:

Takeaway: When men get attached to an idea, logical thought processes can take a backseat to impulsivity.  Just let it happen. They'll come back to reality soon enough.

one is greater than none

Ladies, I have a secret to share with you all: we are not the only ones who often find ourselves lost in manslations.  I've watched my male friends and family members throw up their hands in frustration at the nonsensical (and sometimes borderline stupid) comments that are made by their own gender class.  My roommate recently met a girl that he felt would be the perfect match for his single best friend.  Unfortunately, his bestie's attention span was subpar:

Takeaway: The fact that he picked up on even one word of your conversation indicated that he is, in fact, listening.  Keep in mind that it could be worse.

a blooming birthday

My brother has a very structured approach for gift giving.  I can always count on him to call me approximately two days before a loved one's birthday to ask about what "we" will be purchasing.  He thinks he is being clever by slyly attaching his name to my heartfelt gift ideas, but he surprised me this year when he attempted to add his own twist to our mother's birthday gift:

 Takeaway: It is easy to get frustrated with men for their laziness, but their idiotic contributions can evoke even more frustration.  Keep in mind that they mean well, and accept it for what it is.

directionally challenged

The following gem was submitted by Jamie (read about her trials and tribulations as a long distance girlfriend here!).  She found herself lost in both Manslation and the city of Manhattan when she received this vague text message from a male friend:

Takeaway: It is a well-known stereotype that men do not like to ask for directions.  They are much more comfortable wandering around aimlessly until they stumble upon their intended destination.  Don't be surprised when they expect the same from you.

late for a very important date

A few months ago, I found myself pacing through my living room and repeatedly dialing my boyfriend's phone number.  He had called earlier in the day to tell me that he made reservations at an exclusive NYC restaurant and would pick me up at 7:30 after a "quick drink" with a coworker.  Naturally, I was fuming when the clock hit 8:00 and my normally prompt boyfriend was nowhere to be found.  You can imagine my reaction when I found him giggling in the hallway, debating whether or not to ring my doorbell:

Takeaway: You may want to stab a pencil through his eye right now, but in six months, his innocent justifications for bad behavior will become a shared memory that you laugh about. 

language barrier

I recently sat down with my male best friend to discuss his love life.  He was frustrated about the fact that he continuously dated girls that weren't right for him, or as he explained, "bat shit crazy".  From my perspective, the basis of his problem was simple: he had to find a girl who had similar interests and a lifestyle that complimented his own. I pressed him to identify his "passion", because after all, how was he supposed to find a girl with similar interests if he couldn't define them himself?

 Takeaway: It is possible that who he is and who he wants to be are not always the same person.  It is also possible that he is oblivious to this fact.

organic ideas

 As I was trying to come up with a playful name for this blog, I initiated a brainstorming session with the boyfriend.  My request was simple - I asked him to think of a "short, catchy, and organic tagline". Apparently, my choice of the term "organic" was a bit problematic for someone who was only directing about 20% of his attention to our brainstorm.  I received a quick (and very serious) response:

Takeaway: Be careful, because literal will often trump metaphorical.

the art of manslation

I want to clarify one specific point: I have the utmost respect for my guy and adore his manly ways.  With that being said, I have spent countless hours attempting to decipher his cryptic text messages and understand his fragmented thought process.  The fun doesn't stop there, though.  I also have a kind-hearted but headstrong roommate who prides himself on being a cliched "bro", a male best friend who rarely takes life seriously, and a 6'5" 250 pound brother who's training to be a professional boxer.  My life is like a bad episode of "My Boys"...but I wouldn't have it any other way.

After years of navigating my way through bro territory, I've learned to adapt to their ways and am ready to translate my pain into your gain.  Enjoy my stories, experiences, and learnings.

Have you ever found yourself lost in manslation? Email me your stories at mbl1941{at}gmail.com !